I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
