Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This is my gift to your gina
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
