this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
