i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
