i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
