hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
