Umm I'm too high to move.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
