using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
