so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
