I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
