Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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