How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i think i have two assholes
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
