I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
