legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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