a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
