I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
A bitchslap is in order.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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