Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Randomize
