I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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