i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
