Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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