Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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