You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
