yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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