If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize