Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
