so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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