seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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