I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
