But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
