I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
