remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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