I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
