i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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