At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
