i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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