ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
