next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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