ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
