butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
