Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she pinky promised me she was 18
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
