I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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