i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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