and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
