yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Randomize
