Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I have post one night stand depression
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