She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
