hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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