one word: firstdatebathroomanal
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
