Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
