I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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