Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
