if you like me you must not know who I am
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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