the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
