How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
