They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
