I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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