Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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