they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
