her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
