we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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