Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
