he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
