you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
