the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
