Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
