also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize