if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
