Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
