Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
